Source: I can’t believe I never told you this… Channel: Alyssa Grenfell Published: May 8, 2026 | Archived: May 10, 2026

Video: I can’t believe I never told you this…
Channel: Alyssa Grenfell
Published: May 8, 2026
Duration: 1:13:25
Views: 186,472
Category: People & Blogs
Video ID: LnOm2e4HXjk

Description

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~~~~~~~~ When I was 17, an old Mormon man put his hands on my head and gave me what was basically a secret prophecy about my future. Growing up, I was taught this document was sacred, private, and was literally referred to as personal scripture. In this video, I’m reading parts of my own patriarchal blessing and explaining why I now see the whole practice as Mormon fortune telling with much higher stakes. When “personal scripture” feels like it is pre-determination for your future, unfortunately things can get very dark very fast.

~~~~~~~~ A few resources I mention in the video: *Patreon video where I read my full Patriarchal blessing: https://www.patreon.com/posts/deep-dive-into-157681697?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link *Reddit thread #1: https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/1f03mg3/patriarchal_blessing_ruined_my_life/ *Reddit thread #2: https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/1ft9k7f/patriarchal_blessing_do_you_regret_it/ *Reddit thread #3: https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/127a9ql/craziest_patriarchal_blessings_youve_heard_or/ *Man’s PB #1: https://www.thankgodimatheist.com/mormonism/franks-patriarchal-blessing/ *Man’s PB #2: https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/a25hwf/my_super_generic_patriarchal_blessing_cant/#lightbox *Patriarchal blessings explained by the Mormon church: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/patriarchal-blessings?lang=eng *Patriarchal blessings wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patriarchal_blessing *Folk magic in the early Mormon church: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Folk_magic_and_the_Latter_Day_Saint_movement *Paying for blessings article: https://sunstone.org/wp-content/uploads/sbi/articles/102-17-29.pdf *Temple endowment/Mormon cult ritual explainer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_eSubCKmGo&t=2230s *My video about attending a Mega church: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ed9BBdVk9s&t=244s

~~~~~~~~~~ Where to find me: *Patreon (ad free & bonus content): https://patreon.com/alyssadgrenfell?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink *Read my book, How to Leave the Mormon Church: https://amzn.to/4na4rpo *TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@alyssadgrenfell?lang=en *Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alyssadgrenfell/?hl=en *Email me: alyssadgrenfell@gmail.com

~~~~~~~~~~ Support my channel: *Patreon (ad free & bonus content): https://patreon.com/alyssadgrenfell?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Transcript — YouTube panel (human-authored)

0:00 Just when I think I’ve reached the point where I’ve discussed everything that was weird about growing up Mormon, I realized there’s some new weird thing that I haven’t talked about yet. A few weeks ago, Taylor Frankie Paul shared some snippets of something called a patriarchal blessing. A patriarchal blessing is a super secretive blessing that you get when you are a Mormon teenager. At least most people get it when they’re teenagers. I’ll share some of the snippets off to the side here.

0:25 And you may already find yourself wondering, Alyssa, what is a blessing? What’s a patriarch? Why is it so secretive? Why does this person have three different names? Well, uh, let’s jump down the rabbit hole together, shall we? Uh, because as you can see from this comment, this is basically comparing it to like a Mormon version of tarot card reading. I’ve also heard it compared to Mormon fortunetelling. Uh, this Reddit comment made me laugh because it’s calling it a spiritual fortune cookie. I do have my very own personalized Mormon fortune cookie for you today. Uh, this was given to me by a patriarch in the Mormon church when I was 17 years old. In case this is your first time watching, I am now an ex Mormon, but when I was Mormon, I definitely did every single thing on the Mormon checklist. And I once considered this to be so special and so secret that when I received this blessing from the

1:21 patriarch, I didn’t even show this to my siblings. Today’s video will be a deep dive into patriarchal blessings. But here at the top, I figured I’d give the most basic description of exactly what even that is. A patriarchal blessing is a blessing given to you by a man in the church whose title is the patriarch. And this is usually an older man, usually at least 65 years or older, though I feel like usually it’s more like 80 years or older. There are many different forms of blessings that happen in the Mormon church. Here’s a picture of one example.

1:54 There’s like blessings for uh someone who is sick. You could get a blessing to receive a job in the church. Maybe if you just are having a hard time, you might ask for a blessing. And so, it’s basically where a man, it has to be a man, puts his hands on your head and speaks for God essentially. It’s also important to note that Mormons believe he’s also speaking not just for God, but also by the power of God because men have something called the priesthood.

2:23 And this is basically the authority to yield God’s power uh in his name. So to heal someone using God’s power and with his authority. If all of that sounds a little made up, that’s probably because it is. But whenever you see a picture like this, uh basically this man believes he is acting for God and with God’s proper authority. Whereas if you see this man aka the pope, uh Mormons would say he’s not acting with the authority of God. Uh he’s just doing whatever he wants using his own, you know, he might say he’s a man of God, but he doesn’t have God’s proper authority. I guess maybe the easiest way to explain this is that some people might have magic and other people don’t have magic. And Mormons believe that the only people who have this special mystical ability, the magic, are Mormon men who are considered worthy and have been given permission to do so. The reason all of this matters is that the

3:23 person who gives you this blessing is considered to be magic. Essentially, it’s somebody who has not just the priesthood, but like a special type of the priesthood. They’ve been ordained to be able to give you this blessing. And so, it’s it’s not just that this person is like an old man. It’s that within the religion, it’s considered to be a very important role. Like I said, most people get a patriarchal blessing when they are in their teens, late teens. I was 17.

3:50 And you do have to schedule this meeting. So, this is not something where you just walk in the door and you’re like, I’m ready. uh you have to schedule this particular meeting with the patriarch with the old man and you’ll only get to have one patriarchal blessing in your whole life. So anytime you’re sick, you could get a a blessing for the sick and afflicted. Anytime you get a new job in the church, you might get a blessing, but you only get one patriarchal blessing. Blessings also aren’t usually written down and recorded word for word. Um, so this that is another element that kind of sets this apart as like the most important blessing, at least one of the most important blessings from God that you’ll ever receive in your life. There’s a lot of advice online for how to prepare yourself for this experience. Most people at the very least pray and read scriptures and kind of contemplate. I fasted. So, I didn’t eat or drink water,

4:44 no food, no water for 24 hours before I received this blessing. And so, then the special day comes where it’s your day for your appointment. Uh, typically from what I’ve read online and from my own experience, the the man might ask some questions. He might ask about you, your life. He might also interview your parents. When I went and when I received my blessing, it was very much like this is just for you. the individual receiving this piece of paper and your parents. No siblings allowed. Like I don’t know if they said no siblings allowed or if it was discouraged or if that was my parents call. From what I’ve read, most people they just go just with their parents or if they’re a little older, they may just go alone. And now the moment has finally come. Uh you’re about to receive your patriarchal blessing. Uh he’ll hit record because the the blessings are recorded. Then he will put his hands on your head. And after those hands go on your head,

5:41 everything that comes out of his mouth is supposed to be literally God’s words for you. When I was growing up, we called it personal scripture. So the the words on this piece of paper, I am meant to consider this to be as holy as the Bible, if not more holy, cuz the Bible has translation errors. Just as holy as the Book of Mormon. This is personal scripture literally spoken by God using this patriarch as his puppet and giving me words and advice and things that I should know for my own life. People who give blessings are sometimes called mouthpieces for God. So the the patriarch is a mouthpiece for God. I just really want to drive that home here that you are to believe and assume and have faith that everything that he’s saying is literally God talking to you.

6:31 This is not something like, “Oh, these are some nice words.” Or, “Oh, wow. Um, this man has some good sage advice for you.” You are supposed to literally believe that God is speaking to you in that moment. Now, he doesn’t just speak completely at random because there are a few things that are always addressed in a patriarchal blessing. One is your lineage. The belief is that basically anyone receiving a patriarchal blessing belongs to one of the 12 tribes of Israel. And so the patriarch will proclaim which of those 12 tribes you belong to. I found this comment about the whole 12 tribes of Israel thing. And they basically compare it to finding out which Harry Potter house you’re in. I’ll talk about that within this video. That in and of itself is a lot to get into.

7:19 He also will tell you, and this is why people call it Mormon fortuneelling. uh he’ll tell you what to expect from your future. So it may be more vague like you know if you’ll get married, if you’ll have kids. Sometimes people will tell stories that they get specific more specific than that. So how many kids will you have? He may also say something like what type of job you might have or what vocation or career. He might also be specific about like certain types of difficulties you may face. So, it could be really vague, like a very vague life plan, or it could be ultra specific.

7:55 I’ve heard stories of people saying that their patriarchal blessing said that they would face an early death. I’ve heard people say that their patriarchal blessing had the name of their future spouse. And so considering that this is a document that’s telling you your future, and considering that you’re supposed to believe that this is literally God talking to you, it’s safe to say that many, many major life decisions have been made based off of people’s patriarchal blessing. I’m going to read a lot of different comments in this video so that you can hear from other people and not just me. Uh, I followed some counsel in there. I followed some counsel in my patriarchal blessing and am now paying the consequences for it and will for the rest of my life. It’s totally screwed me up, which is honestly not surprising considering that the patriarch is not speaking for God. He’s just some old man

8:48 who barely knows you. Now, as I said, he uh recorded the words of the blessing. And so once the blessing is over, he would take his hands off your head and resume speaking as a man and not speaking for God. And uh then the blessing gets typed up uh apparently usually by the wife types it up and then it gets mailed to you. So I received my blessing and then like two or three weeks later I got it in the mail. I also will say like I’ve had multiple versions of this over my life because you’re highly encouraged to annotate it, make notes, maybe tie it to scriptures that are personal to you. This is my least marked up version. I actually can’t find the other versions, which is really a bummer cuz I’m sure I had some funny things written in the margins. But that’s another element of why it gets printed out is so that you can kind of continuously go just like the scriptures, continuously go back to it over and over again throughout the rest of your life. And I definitely treasured my patriarchal blessing. I considered it

9:53 to be holy. As you can see from the post that Taylor made on the subject of patriarchal blessings, she said that they are sacred words. And you can see from the the screenshots, she’s just sharing maybe a sentence or two. She’s sharing like three words at a time. And people are calling her out. Mormons are calling her out in the comments for casting your pearls before swine. Why would you ever share this on the internet? And like I said, even when I received my patriarchal blessing, I would not even show it to my my own siblings, I would hear stories about how, you know, two people were dating and then they shared their patriarchal blessings with each other and then they broke up. And like, you really should probably only show your patriarchal blessing to someone you’re at least engaged to because you should you can’t just be showing this to anybody.

10:45 Personally, I do feel like patriarchal blessings are I think comparing them to fortuneelling or astrology is an accurate description in patriarchal blessings and I’m going to share not just mine today but I’ll also share some lines from other patriarchal blessings which people have posted on the internet and they are always just so full of vague statements uh statements that can be very much they’re just like totally left open to interpretation For example, in mine, it says, “This blessing will be a help and a guide to you throughout your life as you keep your father in heaven’s commandments and do his will.” So, there’s some conditional language in there, right? Uh it will be a guide and it will help you as long as you are following God’s commandments and doing his will. So, as soon as I’m not following God’s commandments, if I’m like, “But what about this thing in my blessing that never came true?” There’s like a lot of plausible deniability built in there where it’s like, well, it was only if you’re following his commandments, so I guess you weren’t following them enough.

11:52 And that’s why this document can be so damaging to so many people because people are making major life decisions based off this document. They’re considering it to be like some of the most important words ever spoken aloud about them. And so if something is like weird or maybe the guy had a tummy ache that day and didn’t really deliver on a great blessing or maybe promised you something that wouldn’t come true. A lot of people have had a lot of heartache and grief over their patriarchal blessings. And I’ll say that that applies to me too. This document gave me a lot of anxiety when I was you know I said I was 17 probably from se I mean I left the church around 23. So until I stopped believing in it, this was giving me anxiety in the back of my mind. And I’ll tell you why. In the third paragraph of my blessing, it said, I bless you as you strive to obtain the necessities of life that there will be times when this will be difficult.

12:56 So it’s so to to take that literally there will be times in my life where I will uh struggle to obtain the necessities of life. So let’s think of what the necessities of life are. Food, water, and shelter. So that’s pretty scary for a 17-year-old to have to grapple with. Okay. At some point in my life, I’m going to struggle to have the necessities of life. I’m guessing that’s like food, water, shelter. Awesome.

13:26 Possum. It goes on to say, “But through the blessings of your father in heaven, you will have the necessities you need as you keep the commandments.” So, if I don’t keep the commandments, God won’t bless me and I’m going to be homeless. Uh, you will be blessed with the ability to obtain the necessities for you, your family, and those who you are called upon to help. And reading that, it sounds very apocalyptic. Like it’s not even just that I personally will struggle to obtain the ne necessities of life, but like me, my family, those I’m called upon to help, which I always was like thinking this would be some sort of like a massive plague, some huge war that I would have to live through. I mean, hopefully hopefully that none of that ever does come come to pass. Uh because ideally I’ll always have shelter, food, and water. But you know, you can see how this old man who’s just like it’s just a sun, it’s just a regular Sunday for him. And he’s like

14:28 blah blah blahing out loud and then he’s giving this random Mormon girl intense anxiety about the end of the world that he seems to be describing here. Yeah. I mean, that’s a line from mine that always really caused me a great sense of panic. And even when things would go wrong in my life, you know, maybe I get a B in a class instead of an A or uh some other traumatic thing like that, I would connect it back to that line of my patriarchal blessing, like, “Oh my god, this is it’s all downhill from here. Uh this is my descent into madness, into being homeless and never like scrging around for food.” And you can see why. I mean, it feels very manipulative to be like, “Okay, but if you’re if you’re following the commandments of God, then you will always have what you need. So, better pay your 10% tithing to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.” And so, that’s really just one example from my own patriarchal blessing

15:28 where there’s this like fortune telling this future fortuneelling element that you, if you’re a believing person, you really are hanging on every single word. Before we jump into all of that, don’t forget to like this video, subscribe to my channel. If you ever received a patriarchal blessing, please feel free to share your own experience. And uh Oh, what? I’m I’m getting a message that there’s someone named Sarah and she has brown hair. She’s wearing a blue shirt and she has not subscribed to my channel. And if she doesn’t, there will be uh she will struggle to obtain the necessities of life unless she subscribes to my channel right now. So, wow. God really sent that one down just now for me through me really to you, Sarah. Along with that, I do have a separate Patreon video. Uh, in today’s video, I’m just going to read a few snippets from my blessing, but in the Patreon video, I read the entire thing and reacted to it line by line. And so, if you want to deep dive into

16:43 Sister Grenfell’s patriarchal blessing after after this, then that video is already posted if you want to check that out next. Now, before we continue, I I think I have another revelation coming in. Do you have an annual checkup that’s been years in the making? Or maybe a a byianual dental cleaning that you’ve been putting off for nine months? Well, you can get that appointment booked today. You can do it right now while I’m talking entirely online with today’s video sponsor, Zukdoc. Zukdoc lets you book appointments 24 hours a day, and you can complete a booking in just minutes. Their free app and website lets you search and compare highquality in-et network doctors across 200 plus specialties. You can filter providers easily by specialty, distance, accepted insurance, patient ratings, and more.

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18:04 zockdoc.com/grrenfell. This message is sponsored by Zukdock. As much as a lot of active members will say, “Oh, it’s nothing like fortuneelling.” I do feel like people have to know the history enough of the early church to know that Joseph Smith and his family were very much into some witchy stuff. For example, Joseph Smith had this special stone he called a seer stone that he used to find the gold plates in the side of the hill. Though before he found the gold plates, he used the the stone to search for buried treasure on other people’s land. He also wore this talisman which he believed would make sure he always had victory over his enemies which considering the fact that he was killed by a mob didn’t seem to be a strong enough talisman.

18:56 Joseph Smith also used divining rods to find treasure uh which is like a madeup thing doesn’t actually work. His mother Joseph Smith’s mother Lucy Maxmith was known for soothsaying. She would draw these like magic circles. Joseph Smith’s brother Hyram also possessed uh this very special astrological cloth. And from what I’ve read, this was actually pretty common in the the mid 1800s and early really really in early America in general. Uh there was a lot of mixing between kind of folklore and magic and Christianity because this astrological cloth also says holiness to the Lord on it. So, they’re kind of viewing almost like magic as a way to access God, but also to there’s like all these other elements and characters and creatures looming about. And this early folk magic that Joseph Smith’s family was involved in, I do think has a pretty fundamental relationship to how the church is now. I I do think over the years, over the decades, the church has gone from

20:06 embracing some of those folk traditions to now just being like we’re just like any other Christian church. But that’s why I feel like there’s a lot of validity to saying that this is just fortunetelling described as something that’s like part of a more general Christian movement because the the early Mormon church did have really really thick roots into some of these more magic cunning folk traditions. And so in today’s video I’m going to be reading more of my own patriarchal blessing.

20:36 I’ll share more about what it was like for me personally, like the story of what it was like for me to receive this blessing. I’ll share more of an explanation about why I think that these types of documents, these documents specifically, are so damaging and manipulative. I’ll also be including some of the funny stories I found online about patriarchal blessings. Like this one I thought was funny. It says that his blessing said I was supposed to have the gift of tongues and master the language I’d speak on my mission and then I went to Idaho English speakaking.

21:09 And so his blessing is like, “Oh wow, you’re going to really get really good at a foreign language when you go on your Mormon mission.” And then apparently God didn’t send that message to the mission department uh because he’s just he just still spoke English on his mission. And as a final thing I will cover in this video, I figured I’d share a little bit more about the origins of where patriarchal blessings came from because I do think it’s pretty interesting. I found in my research, for example, that you used to have to pay to get one of these blessings. In the mid 1800s, it was a dollar and then in the late 1800s, they increased it to be $2 to get a patriarchal blessing. According to this calculator, uh, $2 in the late 1800s would be about $40 today. And so that’s like that’s not a super cheap little fortuneelling experience if you ask me. I also had a final note uh on the post that Taylor had shared because it was interesting to go through and read some of her blessing. I also thought the timing was interesting

22:15 because she had announced via Instagram story that she was detaching from the church, the Mormon church, that she was like stepping away essentially and then a few days later she posted her sacred patriarchal blessing. And so if anything to me that just reveals that it is kind of mentally challenging to leave the Mormon church because honestly it’s just such a huge part of who you are when you’re a believing member that just when you think that you’ve fully stepped away from the church, you find yourself maybe uh entering mentally or emotionally back into it. And also seeing her post reminded me that still to this day I feel like there are people out there who love their blessing even after they’ve left the church and feel like it’s kind of accurate to who they are or think that I mean I’ll say too’s blessing was like way nicer and more complimentary than mine. So maybe if mine called me magnetic her I would like mine more. Um, I I never got called magnetic by God, which honestly when you

23:21 step back and realize like, no, it actually wasn’t God calling Taylor magnetic. It was like a probably a 80-year-old man calling a 16-year-old girl magnetic. So, maybe I’m glad that I didn’t get called that God did not call me any sort of like sister Grenfell, you are a beautiful daughter of God. I think Taylor’s is way creepier to read through the lens of like, “Oh, this is just a creepy old man talking at her.” I do enjoy reading other people’s patriarchal blessings. Uh because one of the most common criticisms against them is that they are ultimately very similar. And I’ve heard people even say like, “Okay, well, the real reason the church doesn’t want you to compare blessings with other people is because then you’d realize that everybody has the same for it’s like the same form letter with just like a few little wording differences.” Like everybody’s mostly from what I’ve read, everybody’s talks about marriage,

24:20 everybody’s talks about like mission, missionary work in some capacity, children, uh following the the gospel, following the scriptures. And so, yeah, I feel like even to compare my blessing to Taylor’s, there are still some like like I said, her patriarch was more complimentary than mine. Um, at least on like a personality level, but we do still have a lot of through lines and similarities between my blessing and Taylor’s blessing. For example, she has multiple paragraphs or sections that seem to discuss how she will be a missionary and bring people to the gospel, aka bring people to the Mormon church. This screenshot says, like I said, it’s just a snippet, so I can’t really read the whole thing, but will be able to influence many and many people uh something something who are not members of the church embrace the gospel. So this this sounds like it’s saying that through her through her influence, people who are not members of the church will choose to join. Mine

25:20 also covers a similar sentiment. It says, “I bless you that you will be an example to those around you. As you bear your testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, others will listen and learn and there will be those who will accept the gospel as a result of your testimony.” So, I mean, similar thing. My voice will be used as a way for people to join the church. Nothing in here though about starting a YouTube channel for some reason. Here’s another section of Taylor’s. You will be a missionary all the days of your life. Another section of hers says, “You will be able to help many people.” And obviously in my blessing, I already read a section that says that I will also be able to help others. In a separate section, it says, “You will be blessed with the ability to understand the problems of your own family and to help them.” Women helping others. Wow, who could have thought that that would be core to the message? I’m sure Taylor’s also says things about marriage

26:17 and children. Mine does too, which I read in the the Patreon video, but like I said, there’s a lot of commonalities here. I’ll also say that uh Taylor’s blessing seems to be full of the same kind of conditional language that mine is full of along with everyone else’s. Uh this one says, “You remain true and faithful.” I’ll put a screenshot here. You can see there’s an S. I’m sure that says, “As you remain true and faithful.”

26:44 One section in mine that made me laugh as I was preparing for this video uh is the last sentence and it says, “I bless you with these blessings and any others you may need and seal them upon your head through your faithfulness in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.” So sealing them on my head, he just throws that in there at the end. Any others that you may need. So, it’s like if I didn’t, you know, if I forgot to include something, I’m just going to put a catch all in at the end there and any other blessings you may need through your faithfulness.

27:17 So, now it’s like two conditional statements, anything else you might need as long as you are faithful. In addition to a lot of these like catch-all ways of wording things, I also feel like patriarchal blessings are just full of self-fulfilling prophecies. So, for example, if your blessing says you’re going to get married someday, which for women, they all say that. Uh, when you get married, it can feel like it is a self-fulfilling prophecy because you were told you were going to get married and then you do get married. And because you got married, it feels like that’s confirmation that your patriarchal blessing was true or real. Even though he’s just saying something aloud that feels like statistically pretty likely given the fact that you are a Mormon woman who’s been conditioned to view marriage as one of the most if not the most important thing you’ll ever do in your entire life. Same with uh having kids. So if your patriarchal blessing

28:13 says you like you’ll be blessed with children then when you have kids it can also feel like oh like oh this evidence God knows God is working in my life. evidence that the patriarch really was speaking for God. And because there’s all of these these moments that are like it reminds me of reading horoscopes where it will say something like there is a personal relationship you have in your life that is strained and it’s like who amongst us? Um, it it feels like it just says like at some point in this month you will feel sad and it just feels like it typically it seems to just be describing like things that are relatively common to happen to people in general, but then when it happens it can feel like, oh wow, my horoscope was really on something this month. The other frustration I have with patriarchal blessings and all of religion is that there’s like a double meaning of everything or everything is very open to interpretation. One example of this is I know people who their

29:17 patriarchal blessing said you will serve a mission. Most people would think okay that must mean that at some point in my life I’ll go get the black name tag. I’ll go to a different country or a different place and I’ll knock on people’s doors. And people have been like oh but then I just got married. I never went on a mission. Is my patriarchal blessing wrong? Logic might say, “Yes, it was wrong.”

29:39 But because these things are so open to interpretation, one might say something like, “Oh, well, the mission it’s describing here is actually your mission to have children, your mission as a mother.” Or even for that comment I read earlier about the foreign language thing, it could be like, “Oh, well, when you’re older, you’ll go on a senior mission and then you’ll go to a foreign country.” Or it might be like, “Well, it wasn’t talking about a black name tag mission. It was talking about when you go do study abroad that you always have a mission to to share the gospel.” So that’s what it was referring to. And so literally any line of your blessing because it can be interpreted 5,000 different ways, it almost means like nothing means anything because if something doesn’t happen, it’s always like, oh well, it’ll happen in the afterlife or, oh, it’ll happen later in life. When you can explain these things away if you just like work your mental

30:35 gymnastics hard enough, then it doesn’t really mean anything, which is another reason why I think fortunetelling, including patriarchal blessings, is it’s just like a madeup fantasy that’s not based in reality. Here’s a section from the Mormon church’s website. This is like kind of like a almost like a dictionary definition of what patriarchal blessings are. And I thought this line was funny. It says, “If the blessing does not mention an important event such as a full-time mission or marriage, that does not mean we will not have that opportunity.” So that also gives just a little bit more evidence to what I was just saying where it’s like, okay, well, just because it doesn’t say it doesn’t mean it won’t happen. Just like mine, I bless you with these blessings and any other others you may need. That’s a pretty casting a wide net here. So, I do feel like if you read into the actual teachings of this, it’s

31:33 like take everything very seriously, but don’t take anything too seriously because it’s not not all not not an inclusive document. It’s very important, but it won’t include everything. But it’s very but it’s directly from God. It’s personal scripture, but it’s open to interpretation. I was going to share my husband’s patriarchal blessing today, but I couldn’t find it. I did find some other blessings given to men because I wanted to just highlight the the differences between men and women’s blessings. So, we will not be getting Jackson’s uh patriarchal blessing today, but I did find this document interesting. I’ve seen these types of documents before. I’ll put it here.

32:15 Basically, as you can see, it is showing that there are one, two, three, four types of doctrine and maybe like ranking them according to importance. And this is kind of along the same lines where like nothing means anything once you start doing stuff like this because usually when you say doctrine, I think people think that that means something very very specific, right? Like a very uh substantial belief. I would say usually unchanging. God is unchanging, right? That’s like another part of religion and Christianity. But because doctrine in the Mormon church has changed so much over time, like for example, the idea that black people should not be able to receive the priesthood or get married in the temple.

33:01 Because the Mormon church has changed so much doctrine, they’ve had to come up with little intellectual loopholes like this where it’s like, “Oh, well, that racist doctrine was doctrine, but it was merely esoteric doctrine.” Which means I guess we don’t do that anymore. Even though it was doctrine, but it just wasn’t that important of doctrine. Whereas the core doctrine like uh God exists, I guess, is the thing that’s truly unchanging. There’s also policy doctrine which I guess would be something like when Gordon Behinkley was like girls should not have two sets of earrings and that’s doctrine but it’s actually not that important of doctrine because it’s merely policy doctrine but of course when you’re sitting in church it’s not like they’re like all right take out your doctrine sheet. Uh today we have a new edict coming down from the prophet or God. Today’s doctrine though is supportive doctrine. So, don’t take it too seriously, but take it more

34:03 seriously than the policy doctrine. I’m just using this as an example of why I feel like in religion and specifically in Mormonism, it can feel like nothing means anything. Even Joseph Smith translating the Book of Mormon is like, “Oh, but it wasn’t like a word for word translation. It was more like he was inspired to write something.” And translation actually means the word inspired. It doesn’t actually mean like taking one word from one language and translating it into a different language. I mean, when you start saying that there are four different types of doctrine and everything that you’ve been promised in this life actually could be happening in the afterlife, nothing really means anything. And if nothing means anything, then why am I giving 10% of my income to you as my church? Now, I wanted to share kind of the story of when I got my patriarchal blessing because it is kind of funny. I

34:59 think that as a Mormon kid, I just took everything so seriously because part of this getting your patriarchal blessing, there’s like a huge undertone of like don’t get it if you’re not ready for it. Just like so much of like even going into the Mormon temple, it’s like, oh, you shouldn’t go in until you’re spiritually prepared. And so, I didn’t I waited till I was 17. I think I probably started wanting to get a patriarchal blessing when I was like 14, but I was like I think I just like really wanted to be spiritually mature enough to handle whatever was going to come at me. So, I waited for longer than a lot of my peers. I’ll say that. I also, like I said, was fasting the day of. I always had a really hard time with fasting growing up, which made me feel very spiritually weak as well, especially cuz I started fasting for 24 hours at age 8.

35:50 And so I would just be like literally have memories of being on the ground just like fetal position like mom please can I eat? And my mom being like well you can if you want to but I know that we really should try to the Lord really wants us to try to fast for 24 hours. And it was like that’s how my family often did things like you can do whatever you want but once the Lord speaks it’s settled isn’t it? And so by the time I was 17 at least I had a better handle on fasting but it did it made me lightheaded. And so even just fasting it was very difficult for me feeling like I have this like massive news from God that I’m going to that’s going to be delivered to me today. But I’m lightheaded and I’m kind of out of it and I’m really hungry and all I can think about is having the pot roast we’re going to have after this. And I feel like fa fasting always felt really counterintuitive to me because when I have done fasts like the 24-hour fasts,

36:55 I all I can think about is food. Like of all of the things I can think of that would make me feel more spiritual, fasting is the opposite of that because it makes me focused on just like, “Wow, I’m really hungry rather than thinking about like what messages is God going to send me today.” I also feel like because I grew up hearing so many stories about patriarchal blessings that I was very nervous about what God was going to say about me. Like I said, I heard a story growing up about how someone had the name of their spouse in their patriarchal blessing. All of these little folklore stories really was impacting me at the time cuz it was like felt like I was going to receive my destiny on that day. There was also this idea, which I I now think is very funny, that the people who get longer blessings are less righteous, which is hilarious because I think this this patriarch old man dude, he’s just talking. But there was this uh kind of

37:53 rumor that the more righteous men like the leaders of the church, the prophets, the apostles, when they got their patriarchal blessing, uh it was like three lines and it would say, “This is your lineage. I give you a blessing. The Lord loves you. Amen.” Now, compared that to mine, uh mine is all of here and then uh of course all of these paragraphs. And so the idea is that the reason you didn’t want a long blessing is because if you get a long blessing, it it means the Lord knows that you are kind of a lost person and you need more advice. It’s almost like the equivalent of like someone who only needs to go to therapy once versus somebody who needs to go to therapy every single week for 5 years. I remember when I was going to get my blessing. I was like, “Oh, I really hope it’s like one paragraph because I don’t need the Lord’s advice because I have the scriptures.” And I will say I was like disappointed by the length of mine because I didn’t I wanted it to be shorter because the every single word he spoke I was like the Lord

38:56 doesn’t trust me. He thinks I need more guidance and more guidance means I’m like spiritually inept. In the end, my blessing, you know, I mean, it talks about me getting married in the temple. It talks about my family. Like it is nice. I mean nice enough like I didn’t I guess going into it being like there’s a chance I may learn the name of my future spouse today and then it’s just like many people will be brought to the the church by your words. It just felt kind of like a letdown. I I feel like I was like hoping for something like and here’s some crazy prophecy. Whoa. But because it was kind of just like, yeah, all of these things are things I was already planning on doing as part of being Mormon, it just didn’t feel spectacularly special. I did though, of course, annotate it constantly. I would print it out and do like a new annotation. One thing that Mormons like to call it in addition to the personal

39:54 scripture thing is the is calling it your own personal leona which I always thought was funny because in the Book of Mormon there’s this story line where they are in the desert and they find this like magical golden tool which is like a comp meant to just assume it’s kind of like a compass and it leads them out of the wilderness. And so I would think about how this was my golden compass, my Leah Hona, uh, to guide me in my life. And I’d go and read it and I’d think about, well, what does that word mean? Or what does this word mean?

40:25 Or how does that sentence apply to me now? Or, you know, somebody would be like, all right, go and print out a new copy of your blessing. Get out your Book of Mormon, and for every line you read, try to find a scripture that applies to that line. And I would do all sorts of things like that. For example, one of the lines that I really clung on to, if you recall, I’ve talked about the temple endowment ceremony and how much I hated it. Of course, I’m thinking of my patriarchal blessing and trying to use that as a Leona to guide me through my cult experience. And in my patriarchal blessing, it says, I bless you as you attend the temple often. You will understand the covenants that you make within the temple. you will be blessed with the understanding of what you need to do in order to keep those covenants that you make within the temple. And so I remember after hating my temple experience, reading that line and being

41:17 like, “Oh, like the reason I hated it was because I need to attend the temple often to understand what the [ __ ] going on here.” And of course, you can see working backwards like this person knows that the temple is a major part of the church. the temp the person knows that the temple is maybe like even a freaky experience and that even the temple is like pretty nonsensical and kind of like uh feels like a lot of nonsequittors. It’s clear like why someone would feel motivated to say that during a blessing. Hey, you might find the temple strange. So maybe if you go back again and again and again, you’ll desensitize yourself to the point that it won’t feel strange anymore. But when I went through the temple, I remembered that line in my patriarchal blessing and I was like, I just need to come back 500,000 more times and then I will understand why I have to stand in the prayer circle. Now,

42:09 as I said earlier, I do feel like there’s a big difference in my mind between male patriarchal blessings and female patriarchal blessings, having read my husband’s and having read other men’s patriarchal blessings online. If anything, I feel like the men’s are usually about priesthood leadership, career, typical male things, like the things that traditional men are usually associated with. And then for women, it’ll be almost exclusively about temple marriage and having children. Uh, and then both of them, I think, usually have some sort of overlap between missionary work. But I do think that what gets highlighted outside of that is usually male leadership, priesthood ordination, and motherhood. I have two patriarchal blessings I’ll link below that were patriarchal blessings given to men.

42:58 Here’s one example of the whole leadership thing. It says, “You will have the opportunity to sit in counsel with the brethren and provide leadership to many of the saints throughout the world.” I looked through my blessing to make sure, but I already knew that of course my my blessing never says that I it never says that I will be in leadership. It never says the word leadership. It does say the word leaders, but not because I’m going to be one, but because I should listen to my leaders. It says, “I bless you as you listen to your parents and to leaders of the church that you will be helped and directed and you will avoid many of the pitfalls and dangers that will come into your life.” Both of the blessings, the two that I was I found, I was like, there’s like gross language around their wives of like I don’t know. I’ll just read it. This says, “Brother Feldman, there is a young lady now being prepared for you.”

43:54 Don’t like that. like she’s being baked in an oven and then will be like emerging when when she’s ready. You will recognize each other at the proper time if you live faithful and keep the commandments and keep yourself clean and pure. So once again, there’s this whole like conditional language. If you live faithful, you will recognize her. And I thought that language like there’s a young lady now being prepared for you.

44:18 Uh this is blessing number two. This is also a blessing to a man. It says you will be blessed with a young lady of your choice and she will help you gain that strength also. And I think just that’s like very similar language like you will be blessed with a young lady of your choice. There is a young woman now being prepared for you. This way of speaking about the future wife is very like possessive and objectifying to me.

44:43 Especially in this sentence, you’ll be blessed with a young lady of your choice. It makes it sound like this is a one-sided decision here. like he gets to choose which of the young ladies he will have it. This does not sound like a mutual decision that’s made by two individuals. It’s just like pick your lady out of the crowd and if you are a good little Mormon boy, you can have whichever lady you want. Also to go on in this paragraph, um I’ll put the whole paragraph here, but I’m going to read the the the second half. Show your love to your wife often so that your children will know that you love her and that they too will have respect for her.

45:19 Okay. So, show love to your wife to perform for your children. It’s like also not the best advice. Uh, make sure that you will tell your wife many times throughout your life how much you care and how much you love her. Thank her for doing the things that she does for you. Even just this sounds very like the that whole this whole paragraph, you can pause it if you want to read it, is very like your wife will live to serve you.

45:44 Make sure you treat her like a good dog. Also, just like there’s no language in here about like doing like there’s no language about equality. It very much suggests the fact that the wife will be serving the husband. Thank her for doing the things that she does for you. There’s no language around like make sure to reciprocate. Make sure you’re doing for your wife what your wife does for you. Anyways, I I thought that the language around like the future wife paragraph was one of the most haunting in both of the blessings.

46:15 Mine by uh contrast really doesn’t talk much about my husband honestly. I’ll read the paragraph. It says, “I bless you with the opportunity of attending the temple and of being married to a special companion within the temple.” Okay. Doesn’t say anything about like a young man is being prepared for you. I bless you as you search for the special companion that you will be prompted and if you seek your father in heaven in prayer, he will let you know when you have made the right choice.

46:43 which I only have two sentences about my future husband, which did surprise me. I thought I’d maybe get a little bit more even at the time. I was like, that’s all you’re I don’t get a name. But then I I have, let’s see, one, two, three, four, five sentences about my children. And even in the men’s blessings, it’s much more about the wife receiving a wife and then the children are like an afterthought. Whereas for me, it’s more like about receiving children and caring for children. And then like the husband is I feel like it’s I guess they really want us to focus on our domains. Though to my own patriarch’s credit, at least he didn’t say anything like make sure you abide in the council of your husband cuz I mean had they put that in there, I still would have been like, “Yes, sir, I’ll definitely do that.” But yeah, so anyways, that I I thought those were pretty good like compare and contrast blessings where you can see some male

47:36 examples and then some for me and even Taylor uh some female examples. As I said, if you want to to see the video of me reading the entire blessing, I have that on Patreon. on top of, you know, say you’re a faithful Mormon person and you kind of fit the mold and feel like you put a lot of stock in your patriarchal blessing. That can impact you as it did for me. Like, okay, the the whole necessities of life thing, it’s really stressing me out. But there are other people who I do think that their patriarchal blessing makes them revert to even worse of a state when they really deeply know that what’s in the blessing is not compatible with who they are. Two common examples of this is one if someone is gay. Assume you’re a gay woman or a gay man. You get a blessing about how you’re going to get faithfully sealed in a Mormon temple.

48:28 And it causes you a lot of sadness and distress to have this thing like predicted for your future when you already know about yourself that that’s maybe not something you’re sure of or not something that you want for yourself. Here’s an example of that experience. It says, “It told me I was going to get married in the temple to have children for the Lord and convert many souls to the church on my mission.

48:51 Typical blessing BS was laughable. I’m gay. I choose celibacy over ruining some poor woman’s life. Never wanted kids. Uh going through the temple shattered my shelf and I was out. So that’s just one example. I mean, you know, imagine you’re a gay man and you’re sitting there and they’re like, “You’re going to have much posterity with your future woman that the Lord will provide to you.” This person is like, “I’m gay.”

49:17 Another common issue that comes up with patriarchal blessings is when there’s fertility issues. So, say that your 80-year-old patriarch man is like, “You will be blessed with many children in Zion.” And then you get married and you then you can’t have kids because you have fertility issues. A lot of women end up feeling like, well, maybe I’m not keeping the commandments well enough because a lot of this is conditional upon keeping the commandments. This comment says, “Mine said that I would get married in the temple and bring to this earth several of the Lord’s chos choice spirits.” So, like I said, that’s pretty specific. It’s it’s not even just saying that you will have kids. It’s saying you’ll have several, whatever that means, maybe three. Um, several of the Lord’s choice spirits. Basically, she goes on to say that she didn’t fully believe in the church. She got married to a non-member and then they were able

50:10 to have one child after years of fertility treatments. She says, “For a while, I thought the infertility was me being punished for not marrying in the temple. So obviously I wasn’t going to be blessed with children for my disobedience. And so you can see how these blessings haunt people like haunt people over years and years because it says uh that because you know I was supposed to get married in the in the temple and then bring to this earth multiple children. And so it can feel like oh my gosh like God is punishing me or like why is this not working out in the way that I was told it would work out? Like and even if I think you can mentally tell yourself like this is totally made up, it still does I think get into your brain and make you feel like that’s how fortunetelling works though. It’s like even if you feel like well, you know, I’m not going to read too much into that or even if I don’t

51:05 believe that, it still can mess with your almost like conception of the world because once you buy into it a little bit, it can still haunt you even if you can say like on its face like logically I don’t believe in this, but it does still cause me anxiety in the back of my mind. This Reddit thread is called, “How has your patriarchal blessing messed you up?” So, I’ll link that whole thread below because there’s a lot there’s other comments that I think could be read here. I’ll link a few threads because this is like a common question on the exworman subreddit. And like I said, even for the women who have fertility issues, if they were to go meet with their bishop, their bishop might just say, “Well, it’s supposed to be about being a mother in Zion in the afterlife. You’re supposed to carry several of the lord’s chosen spirits in the afterlife or something.” Or or maybe like I remember having one woman who talked about how her patriarchal blessing said she was going to have a lot of kids and then she never got married and she was a teacher and she

52:04 was like you know when I was 47 I realized that the many children I was going to have was actually my students and my students were my children and my patriarchal blessing was real and that’s really sad. Like I feel so sad that there are so many people out here just like hanging on every word of these types of documents when it’s just some guy just saying words. It’s not special.

52:28 It doesn’t mean anything. It’s basically like a wrote memorized prayer with like a few things sprinkled in there if he’s feeling a little bit more creative on that day. But it’s ultimately not something to base major life decisions off of. And that’s why I think it’s so manipulative. And now I thought I’d move more into some of the background of patriarchal blessings, like the history and just the office or job in and of itself, like why this man of all random old men. Certainly the Mormon church is full of random old men. Um, and so what is what is it that makes someone get get to be a patriarch? And even like I said at the beginning, trying to explain what priesthood power is is like because it’s a totally madeup idea. It’s almost hard to describe it accurately enough for people to really grasp what I’m talking about. And on top of priesthood power and explaining what that is, there’s also just like what the bureaucracy of the Mormon church is. When you’re a member of an organization like this, it feels really important and like, oh, is it a a ward calling or a state calling?

53:33 Or is it a branch calling or were they set apart or were they ordained or was this the ironic priesthood or the Melchazdc priesthood? And I think the Mormon church really corners the market on like stupid jargon that doesn’t mean anything. To be a patriarch though, you do have to be have that job agreed upon and okayed by the twel apostles. So in the leadership chart, that’s basically like if you have the prophet and then his counselors and then the twel apostles, it’s basically as high in the church as you can get. Uh and so this is a position that’s considered to be incredibly important. Most callings, callings aka jobs in the church, don’t have to get approved by leadership that’s that high up to do the patriarchal blessings. You also have to have the Melchzdc priesthood. I’m a woman, right? So, this is a side of the church that I don’t know as much about only because I was never led in the door. I mean, I was always loving nerding out about learning about the church like but because I was never

54:38 permitted to have the priesthood. I was never permitted to go into spaces where the priesthood, it was like priesthood only. In general conference, like in the big Mormon meetings, they historically have had a a meeting called priesthood session. So this is like a session meant to be only listened to by men who hold the priesthood, the magic ones, the men who have magic powers. And so it is kind of interesting to me coming from where I came from in the the Mormon church because as a woman, I feel like there’s like this whole side of the church that I was never granted access to. I could certainly like learn about it, but I wasn’t permitted to do something like pass the sacrament, bless the sacrament, do the laying on of hands. So many of the other uh ordinances that take place in the church even like uh when they bless babies for example you can see in this picture here like the woman is not even allowed to stand in the circle

55:36 where the baby is being blessed which to me is like such a slap in the face considering the woman has spent 9 months growing this child with her body and then the baby exits out between the woman’s legs and it’s like you do all that work and then you’re not even allowed to stand in the circle to bless the baby. And I remember, you know, when when I was Mormon, uh most men have something called like a pre priesthood ordination chart. So, because this like magic power and the authority to to wield the magic is very important in the Mormon church, men can always tie their priesthood ordination back to Joseph Smith essentially. And a lot of men uh think that like they take this very seriously. So, here’s an example of something I found on Etsy. You can actually buy your priesthood line of authority, and you could have it filled in with different names, as you can see here. And we have like names and dates.

56:35 So, if you know, maybe you get ordained, you get given the magic power by your dad, and then your dad got it from his dad, but his dad got it from one of the apostles because he converted. And that apostle got it from Joseph Smith’s brother. Here you can see in this example they have like someone random but then it gets to Brigham Young the three witnesses and then to Joseph Smith and who did Joseph Smith get the power and authority of God from the magic power. Joseph Smith got it from Peter, James and John. Who did Peter, James, and John get it from? Jesus Christ. And so when I say like priesthood, the power of God, I think that sounds like it means something very amorphous and almost like nonsensical and mystical and blah blah blah. But like within the Mormon church, it’s very much like a hierarchy. It’s very like we’ve recorded every we we know the names and the dates. We know if it was the ironic priesthood or the Melzdc priesthood and

57:32 when you were ordained to be a patriarch for the church. And it almost reminds me of like if you read Lord of the Rings for example and you are trying to learn the whole mythology of the elves and which of the elven tribes originated from what part of the map. It’s like from an outside perspective you’re like that sounds just made up. It doesn’t matter. I found this YouTube video that is someone explaining the magic system in the wheel of time. And as you can see from his whiteboard, it’s very complicated. And it I mean a lot of fantasy systems work this way where they kind of create this world and then within the world there are all these rules that are hard and fast. Like for example, there’s a rule that you can only wield fire magic when you’re on land in the second half of the month or something like that. And that is how I feel like explaining the priesthood because it’s almost like trying to explain something clearly that is

58:37 fantasy. And fantasy can still have rules. Uh Santa, for example, always has that silly red hat with the white brim and the little white pom pom. um always I mean in America I don’t know there’s other versions of Santa and Papa Noel across the world but yeah it’s very similar to that where like even fantasy has very specific hard and fast rules and in the Mormon fantasy the priesthood has some of the longest lore and that’s really goes back to how Mormons can claim they have the true church because they have this priesthood authority granted to them by Jesus. So, the Mormon church is the only church with God’s magic and all the other churches are in apostasy and have fallen away. I did find some interesting speeches from Mormon leaders about patriarchal blessings and I feel like them sharing how they get in the mood to give a blessing also is very mystical and magical. I I thought this was funny. It says, “I once ordained a patriarch who

59:37 was overcome with the responsibility for months. he could not get himself to give a blessing. Finally, he asked his stake president if he might write a paragraph as a model introduction to any patriarchal blessing. The stake president approved. Later, he told me this. When the first young man came for a blessing, because I had memorized this prepared introduction, I felt comfortable. I laid my hands on his head, and I did not use one word of it.

1:00:05 That day, I learned whose blessings they are. They are not my blessings but are dictated by the spirit. And I’m like, I wish someone got up on the pulpit and was like, cool story, bro. But it is kind of funny how he’s like explaining this to me almost like the same as any other fortune teller or mystical thinker where there’s like this way that you kind of get into the the headsp space and you’re like trying to think of the right way to do it and then when the moment arrives it’s like oh wow I’m in a flow state. I didn’t even need to be prepared because the Lord is upon me. So that’s one Reddit thread. Here are a couple more that I’ll link below if you want to go read through them specifically. This one’s titled Patriarchal Blessing Ruined My Life. The other thread that I wanted to link to is patriarchal blessing, do you regret it?

1:00:58 So, I’ll link these below along with some of the other things I’ve been sharing because I think that even just reading through these stories is it it really builds the case that this is a form of religious messaging that especially because there the stakes are so high around it that it does end up messing with a lot of people’s lives. So, let’s talk a little bit more about where patriarchal blessings even came from. Like most things in the church, it does originate with Joseph Smith. Which is why I feel like when people are like, “Mormons don’t worship Joseph Smith, they worship Jesus.” I’m like, “Yeah, but like so much of the religion is around stuff that Joseph Smith kind of invented or made up, like the temple, the Book of Mormon, patriarchal blessings, all of these things are stuff that is from Joseph Smith essentially.” Oh, but the word temple is in the Bible.

1:01:48 Okay. Well, it’s not the same. So, the practice of patriarchal blessings started with Joseph Smith. Like I said, it began in 1833. And basically, I think the story is kind of funny. It’s very much like a circle jerk of early Mormon priesthood holding. Basically, Joseph Smith proclaims his father that he says, “Father, you will now be the patriarch.” And so, Joseph Smith gives his father a blessing. You will now be the patriarch. And then Joseph Smith is like, “Daddy, can I have a blessing now?” And then the dad is like, “Yes, now I’m the patriarch. I can give you a blessing.” And so now then we get the the dad turns around and then gives Joseph Smith a blessing and is like, “You are the most important boy that ever lived.” That’s kind of a common story early in the church. It’s like they’re just blessing each other back and forth and telling each other how important they are. But I did think it was interesting that because Joseph Smith’s father was the first patriarch

1:02:42 that we have the first patriarch being both the patriarch of the family which is where the word patriarch comes from is like the the father figure of the family is and then now it becomes like a religious position or a job of being like I am the patriarch for the stake or like for this area of the congregation. After Joseph Smith’s dad gives Joseph Smith a blessing, he then goes around to all the other family members and then gives them blessings. I did think the little factoid about the patriarch earning money was interesting. It adds another level. Like I remember we used to uh look down on Catholics all the time because they used to sell indulgences and my family would be like I can’t believe that people could even ever believe the Catholics are like a real thing because you can pay for your sins to be forgiven. That’s how we would say it in my family. And so this idea that in Mormon history there’s similarly like other times where blessings could be purchased like they had patriarchs

1:03:45 receive a salary at one point. I’ll put the article off to the side here. There was like a salary element then at certain points they got like money per blessing and then at one point they g they received donations. A Mormon leader early on even pointed out that there was like a financial incentive that he didn’t like about patriarchal blessings because it used to be that you could get multiple blessings. So if you’re paying someone for blessings over and over and over again, then it kind of ups the ante of like, well, if I give him a really good blessing, he’ll come back and pay me again to give him another blessing.

1:04:20 And so adding money to religion, as I talked about in last week’s video about the mega church, like really blurs the line in my opinion between like doing something for moral good and doing something for profit. Starts to feel like they are thinking of it to be like that’s the same thing though. One thing that it also talks about in this article that I thought was funny is that basically that they would give them the blessing, but then if they didn’t pay the fee, they wouldn’t give them like the paper write up of the blessing. So it was like imagine you are like, well, okay, I’m going to bless I’m going to bless you that someday you’ll be a king and you’ll be super rich, but if you want it in writing, you have to pay me my fee. And they would continue to take donations until 1943. So really for the first almost h 100red years of the church there was a clear financial element of receiving this form of a blessing. And so that’s a little bit of the history. Uh and now I want to get

1:05:18 into what lineage means. If you’re wondering my lineage is that I am the tribe of Ephraim. To read exactly from that section of the blessing. It says Sister Grenfell you are from the tribe of Ephraim the son of Joseph who sold into Egypt. You are promised the blessings of this tribe and given the responsibilities of this tribe. You should study and search the scriptures so that you will understand the responsibilities of this tribe. Okay.

1:05:43 So, I’m from Ephraim. Um, I’ll explain in a bit why that probably is, but it’s very similar to what I was explaining about the uh priesthood where there’s a lot of doctrine and history in Mormon Mormonism about what the tribes are, what they represent, who gets to be in what tribe. I’m going to explain that at a very high level today. Here’s an example. Like this is an article that is pages and pages long about this niche topic. And this is one of those things where like a lot of people who really believe in it get super into it. But for me as an atheist who also thinks Mormonism is a sham. It’s hard for me to like buy it hookline and sinker and like research and learn about it because it’s all made up. You might be asking, Alyssa, if it’s all made up, why does it matter? Well, because unfortunately this fantasy is used to justify real world harm. Uh we’ve already talked about some of the real world harm with like infertility or being worried about some monstrous thing that’s going to

1:06:51 happen in your future or being gay. The harm for me of the tribes of Israel is that this is an inherently racist, especially in its history, it’s a inherently racist portion of Mormon doctrine. I’m going to read the church’s definition of this lineage question. Like I said, thinking of this as like which of the Harry Potter houses you get placed into. Maybe that’s like a proxy that might help it make a little more sense. It says, “A patriarchal blessing includes a declaration of our lineage in the house of Israel as a descendant of Adam.” It tells us through which tribe of Israel we will receive the blessings that God promised Adam. And so in this belief, almost everyone is related to Abraham from the Bible. You can, this is from the church. This isn’t a graph I made. So this is from the Mormon church.

1:07:39 You can see how it’s showing the breakdown of the the tribes of Israel and how that relates to the rest of the Bible. And you may find yourself wondering like, what lineage is this even talking about? So in the past, it did mean like a literal genetic history, like a literal genetic lineage. So, not only am I like getting the blessings of Ephraim, I am genetically descended from Ephraim. That’s the claim that the blessings made originally. Now, the church is kind of cuz everything’s flexible here. Everything’s interpretive. Uh, now it’s more like spiritually like my soul and like my my spirit and kind of like my my life’s mission will be of the tribe of Ephraim.

1:08:24 It’s not that I’m like lit literally genetically related to Ephraim. That’s why I say that this has like a deeply racist history in the church because black people, as I’ve said in other parts of the video, black people were not permitted to be full members of the Mormon church until the late ‘7s, 1970s. The belief was that they had the curse of Cain. Black skin was a curse. Uh, basically when Cain was punished by God for killing Abel, God put a mark on Cain. And Mormons and a lot of other early Protestants believed that that mark was black skin. Like I said, deeply racist. And so if you were a black person wanting to receive your patriarchal blessing, you could still get one of these blessings cuz they’ll always take your money. And they would take the tithing money of black members of the church. they just wouldn’t give them the priesthood or let them have full temple privileges. But uh they

1:09:20 wouldn’t declare their lineage because under this racist belief, the idea was that black people were descended from Cain. And so that meant that they were not one of the 12 tribes of Israel. That meant that they were like a completely different thing. I have a whole separate video about the racist history of the church. I actually didn’t get into the 12 tribes of Israel thing, though I did talk a little bit more about the curse of Cain and the Book of Abraham. There’s so much racism to talk about when it comes to the Mormon church that it actually is like it kind of ends up touching everything because it’s in the Book of Mormon. It’s in the early doctrine. It’s something taught by Joseph Smith and Brigham Young. But uh another thing I talked about in this other video about the uh church’s history in Tonga is that the Mormon church has different stories for different races. Right? So they have one story for black people which I’ve

1:10:14 already explained which is that they are their origins are through canain but then they have a different origin story for Polynesians a different or origin story for people from Latin America. racism for everyone in different stripes. And so, like I said, there is actually a reason I’m from Ephraim because Ephraim is like what white people get essentially. Almost everyone I know who is white. Like, and this is not white like they actually look into your family history and look at your your actual genetic lineage. Mormons play real fast and loose with anything to do with DNA. It’s like you show up to the patriarch’s office and he gives you the updown and he’s like white u brown skin. If you are basically Polynesian, indigenous or Latin American or Hispanic and you know any anything that is kind of not white but also not black. Like I said, this is totally like surface level analysis on the part of an

1:11:15 80-year-old man. For someone who is like indigenous or Latin American or Polynesian, they would be Manasseh. So they are still in the 12 tribes of Israel, but they actually are separated still from Ephraim. So white people get Ephraim, brown people get Manasseh. Black people in this madeup racist history fantasy world, which is immoral, are Cain or Ham. I’ll note that this idea of the patriarch giving you your lineage is not consistent because these old men are not consistent. There are stories where, you know, white people will get Manasse. There are stories where Hispanic people will get Ephraim, but this this is like the broad strokes of how most patriarchs seem to interpret it. And so it’s like they literally just racially profile you when you walk in the door and they’re like, you know, you have your skin is a little olive Manasse. And with that, uh, that is the conclusion of my explanation into patriarchal blessings. As I said, I have a separate Patreon video where I do go line by line and read my whole blessing.

1:12:23 I mean, I’ve already read some of it in this video, but it’s considered very heretical, I think, to share your patriarchal blessing. Even Even Taylor, who’s sharing like four words at a time, is getting people saying like, “What a heretic. Grifters got a grift.” And so it is it’s like very like oh you should only show your husband or your parents. And so anyways, I thought it would be funny to share my whole patriarchal blessing, read the whole thing beginning to end. So if you want to watch that, it’s already posted on Patreon. If you haven’t already, don’t forget to like this video, subscribe to my channel. I have a new video about the Mormon church every single week. Whether it’s the doctrine, pop culture, my experience in the church. There’s always some like I said at the beginning I I’m always like I’m probably gonna run out of ideas of stuff to talk about and then like I’ll be in my notes app like adding to 157th thing on my list of things I want to talk about. So not bored yet. Uh, so

1:13:21 subscribe if you want to see that. And as always, I will see you all next week.