Sometimes I draw something and I don’t know yet what it means. I drew Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker the other day (https://stacker.news/items/1489733) and this morning I started feeling bad, having emotions of feeling misunderstood. I continued today with drawing two more images of young Anakin.

I understood that Jake Lloyd had a hard time after the release of the Phantom Menace (understatement). Then apparently also Hayden Christensen had tough time and received a lot of hate for his performance of Darth Vader. Now I never understood all the hate towards the prequels nor expressing hate for its actors, but apparently both of the actors went through hell dealing with chronic criticism.

I watched this other interview of Hayden Christensen and became aware of how these young actors need to survive basically the whole of humanity treating them as the role and not the person who they are. I.e. getting severely misunderstood.

These images raised a deep seated belief in myself as well that I am also misunderstood. It probably stems from childhood as I was always the misfit at school. Aside from that I also grew up with my mother, not having a father which really shaped how my life experience was not like the other kids. That, and also being highly sensitive made me feel really apart; and misunderstood.

The role of Anakin has a similar fate. Anakin himself is really misunderstood by the Jedi, and he’s not really being treated well by them, especially Obi-Wan.

Anyways. I can feel the discomfort today of feeling misunderstood. It’s just one of those days when such an emotion comes up for review. Can I hold it, can I hold space for it, can I just feel it without running away from it? Some moments I can really allow it, and then I flip out of its pain. An old emotion often stays with me for a day and then the next day, it’s like what was that trip all about, and it’s integrated.

Have you ever felt misunderstood? Glad to hear other’s experiences.

Thank you.

https://stacker.news/items/1490873